It’s the end of the year, so you know what that means! Not only is it holiday season but it’s also ENGAGEMENT SEASON! Statistics show that most engagements occur between November and February more than any other time of year. It’s a time that many families come together and celebrate, so no wonder why many people use this time to pop the question.
We’ve compiled a few tips on how the ‘asker’ and the ‘askee’ should prepare during this special time to ensure that your engagement goes smooth!
For the asker, depending on the personality of your partner, this could be a time where focusing on every detail is key, or going with the flow is all that matters. Above all, you know what your partner wants and of course it’s best that you try your hardest to create a perfect environment to pop the question. But, there are a few other things that you should have in place outside of just the day you plan to propose.
For The Asker
1. Go on a Credit Date
This is a date that gives you time to really ‘iron out the details’. How much debt does your partner have? Do you know their salary and what they would expect for you to pay once you’re married? Topics such as retirement plans, 401ks and how you two will manage money are extremely important. Yes, we marry for love but I’m sure you both are in this for the long haul. Studies show that most marriages end due to money issues. This doesn’t have to be you if you two prepare your plan together. After all, a partner should make you better in all aspects, they can’t help you with that if their are parts of you that you’re keeping hidden.
Be open and honest of how you would like it to be for you two to live together (of course if you aren’t already). What roles would you expect your partner to play? Also see what they are expecting from you. After being in a relationship, I’m sure these are things you may already know about one another, however, it’s still best to truly communicate this with one another without holding anything back. Make sure that you keep this exclusively between you two. Now is not the time to get friends or family involved in your relationship. It’s time for you two to be completely honest about your expectations so that no one ends up disappointed.
Are you where you want to be financially? Is your partner aware of this? Before popping the big question, it’s a great idea to create a financial plan and stick to it. Between the holidays, the ring, and just LIFE in general, I’m sure you know how quickly these things can add up. Your partner should know where you stand financially, as they should with you as well.
4. Don’t over-stress
For the smoothest experience, it’s always best to let go of concrete expectations. Things change often when it comes to wedding planning. This is why it’s always best to hire an event planner that knows your budget and can work well within it. Keep an open mind during this process, be open to changes (because they will arise) and keep your eye out for spur of the moment opportunities to pop the question. Also, listen to your partner, I am almost 100% sure that they have dropped hints on what a ‘dream’ proposal would entail for them. Work within your means and make it a memory that will be sure to last forever.
5. Enjoy your engagement.
Out of all of the items mentioned in this blog, this may be the most important. Be sure to ENJOY this moment. It can be easy to stress out, but realize that this may show that you are focusing on minute details and not the big picture, that you have found your life partner and you are going to make it official! Be sure to exclude other’s opinions on popping the question, follow your heart most importantly and move forward with confidence.
For The Askee
Now for the askee! Maybe your significant other has already popped the big question, or maybe you’re waiting and anticipating the time that they will. Whichever boat you fall in, keep reading because I have some tips that will definitely help you through this exciting time! These tips come from years of experience, I understand how expectations don’t always meet our reality and sometimes they exceed them! No matter what, these tips will ensure you have a smooth engagement and planning process for your wedding.
Keep your hands and nails manicured to show off your new engagement bling! There’s nothing worse than having the partner of your dreams propose and you aren’t able to catch the ‘real time’ footage of it all because your manicure isn’t up to par! Sometimes we have a keen sense of what’s to come and sometimes we have no clue. However, it’s best to always stay prepared!
2. Fairy Tale vs Real Life
I know, I know. You’ve dreamed of that HUGE wedding that you’ve wanted to have since you were a child. Now that the day is finally here to begin planning, you realize that your fairytale wedding didn’t come with the fairytale budget (we had the luxury of not knowing what bills were when we were kids). However, don’t let your childhood vision of what you expected your engagement to be ruin your partner’s efforts. Allow them to express their love authentically and remember to be thankful for the little things, because at the end of the day, that’s all that truly matters.
3. Plan on hiring a Wedding Planner
Ever heard of Bridezilla? Imagine if she had to do everything herself, too! No one wants to be stressed on the months leading up to their marriage and especially not on the day of the wedding. There are too many small details to focus on, weddings are meant to be a time of celebration not frustration. Your position should be to make decisions, not to envision every single thing that could possibly go wrong and come up with a back-up plan. Hire a planner you trust whole-heartedly and you have an authentic relationship with so you don’t have to stress on the day of.
After The Engagement
So now you’re engaged! Congratulations! Now what? How can you ensure that the days leading up to the wedding flow as smooth as possible?
1. Discuss Social media and Family
Everyone has a different point of view on sharing on social media (and over-sharing). When the big news break, know that you may get a range of emotions from people who are overly ecstatic for you and people who are secretly envious of this new chapter in your lives. It’s completely up to you two to decide how you want to share the good news! Of course, you want to call the people closest to you, but also know that you aren’t required to tell anyone that you don’t want to. This is a special time for YOU, don’t focus so much on the opinions of others.
2. Dealing with the ex’s
Are you or your partner still keeping in contact with old flings? Even if it’s ‘just as friends’, know that news of your engagement will come as a crushing blow to people that thought they still had a chance with you or your partner. Prepare for the backlash and don’t be afraid to cut some people off before you move forward. Remember, you are starting a new slate and a new life together, make sure it’s as clean as possible.
Engagement season is such an exciting time! For couple, families, friends, wedding and event planners and more. Love is truly a beautiful thing and it should be celebrated in a pure form. Remember: iron out the details, be open and honest, communicate with one another and most importantly ENJOY, because you are starting a new chapter in your life, with the person who was made for you.
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